Omnipotent Conversion Table

* Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi

* 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 I.V. League

* 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won Ton

* 1 trillion microphones = 1 million phones = 1 megaphone

* 1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles

* 1/1,000,000 mouthwash = 1 microscope

* 365.25 days = 1 Unicycle

* 365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling = 1 lite year

* 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Sterling

* 0.5 large intestine = 1 semicolon

* 1,000,000 rent-a-cars = 1 megahertz

* Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billygram

* Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower

* Shortest distance between two jokes = a straight line

* Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

* 0.5 bathroom = 1 demijohn

* 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake

* 2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds

* 10 cards = 1 decacards

* 10 dents = 1 decadent

* 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 Fig Newton

* 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin

* 1 million billion piccolos = 1 gigolo

* 10 rations = 1 decoration

* 100 rations = 1 C-ration

* 2 paradigms = 40 cents

* 1 paradox = 2 MDs