His Mother Must Be So Proud

You've Been Warned

Answering Machine Messages (might not be real)

William Shatner -- "If you wish to give me money, please indicate how much and I'll phone in my performance as soon as I can."

Kevin Costner -- "According to People magazine, I'm not in right now..."

Jim Morrison -- "Hi, I can't come to the phone because I've been dead for thirty years. If you're too stoned to care, leave a message at the tone...."

Prince Charles -- "I'm all ears."

Headline

Prune Ranchers Start Movement

Classified Advertisement

CHI WAU WAU Puppies for sale

Our Children Need Good Learning

When You Gotta Go, Go To One Of These

Headline #1

Scientists find a way to grow sheep with bigger, better buttocks

Wonder How That Child Turned Out

George Carlin Quote

"Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?"

How To Bake A Cake (from a real recipe)

Pour mixture into greased pan, cover with foil and bake for 45 minutes at 375 for 1 hour

Ain't Technology Great?

Fun With Food

Can You Believe This Is A Real Mug Shot?

Headline #2

Judge Ball says masturbator's testimony was 'self-serving'

Signs. Everywhere A Sign.