Monday, July 5, 2010
Good Question
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
More Paul Lynde Quotes
Peter Marshall: Karen Valentine made her film debut in a film called “Gidget...” Gidget what?
Paul Lynde: Gidget Gets Morning Sickness.
Peter Marshall: In Greek mythology, what would the god Morpheus do to you while you were asleep?
Paul Lynde: I don’t know, but I got an enchanted hickie.
Peter Marshall: True or false. In Sweden, a person can get an instant divorce?
Paul Lynde: Yes, from poisoned meatballs.
Peter Marshall: After Phyllis Diller’s facelift, she received thousands of letters, mostly asking three questions: did it hurt? How much did it cost? And one other...what?
Paul Lynde: Do your eyes close when you sit down?
Peter Marshall: Eddie Fisher stated, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for them both.” Who or what was he referring to?
Paul Lynde: His fans.
Peter Marshall: True or false. Ari Onassis gave Jackie $5 million worth of jewelry in their first year of marriage alone?
Paul Lynde: And it didn’t cure her headache.
Peter Marshall: In the movies, who gave the advice, “whistle while you work”?
Paul Lynde: It was either Paul Winchell…or Linda Lovelace.
Paul Lynde: Gidget Gets Morning Sickness.
Peter Marshall: In Greek mythology, what would the god Morpheus do to you while you were asleep?
Paul Lynde: I don’t know, but I got an enchanted hickie.
Peter Marshall: True or false. In Sweden, a person can get an instant divorce?
Paul Lynde: Yes, from poisoned meatballs.
Peter Marshall: After Phyllis Diller’s facelift, she received thousands of letters, mostly asking three questions: did it hurt? How much did it cost? And one other...what?
Paul Lynde: Do your eyes close when you sit down?
Peter Marshall: Eddie Fisher stated, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for them both.” Who or what was he referring to?
Paul Lynde: His fans.
Peter Marshall: True or false. Ari Onassis gave Jackie $5 million worth of jewelry in their first year of marriage alone?
Paul Lynde: And it didn’t cure her headache.
Peter Marshall: In the movies, who gave the advice, “whistle while you work”?
Paul Lynde: It was either Paul Winchell…or Linda Lovelace.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Redneck Dining Tip
Remember to leave a generous tip for good service. After all, their mobile home costs just as much as yours.
Police Blog
At 5:24PM someone spotted a woman fighting a groundhog on Lee Highway. The conditions of both the woman and the groundhog remain unknown.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Stupid Signs & Snarky Comments
Now you're in trouble!
And just what is he parking?
Most people know it as an HMO.
Pity the San Diego Chicken.
How much must be drunk to make kissing fish fun?
He saves by going to a buffet?
Yes, please do.
And don't stare at the signs.
Why didn't anyone see this coming?
Price cut insanity.
Perhaps the Easter Bunny might want to hide.
Who selects these items?
Best to get it out of the way as soon as possible.
Pray indeed.
Ouch!
But can you return them for a refund?
So how many applicants applied?
They make a cream for that.
But dirty hands are okay.
Can't wait to see it.
Does the Pope know about this?
Seriously? Really?
Better than what BP is offering.
Thank you, but no.
Special deal? For whom, idiots?
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Richard Burton In A Letter To Elizabeth Taylor
"One of these days I will wake up--which I think I have done already--and realize to myself that I really do love. I find it very difficult to allow my whole life to rest on the existence of another creature. I find it equally difficult, because of my innate arrogance, to believe in the idea of love. There is no such thing, I say to myself. There is lust, of course, and usage, and jealousy, and desire and spent powers, but no such thing as the idiocy of love. Who invented that concept? I have wracked my shabby brains and can find no answer."
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