Tuesday, November 16, 2010
George Carlin
"I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose."
Redneck Etiquette
Never take a beer to a job interview or ask if they press charges.
Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
Always say "Excuse me" after getting sick in someone else's car.
It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it's considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.
The socially refined never fish coins out of public toilets, especially
if other people are around.
Always provide an alibi to the police for family members.
Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
Always say "Excuse me" after getting sick in someone else's car.
It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it's considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.
The socially refined never fish coins out of public toilets, especially
if other people are around.
Always provide an alibi to the police for family members.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Redneck Entertaining in Your Home
A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
Do not allow the dog to eat at the table . . . no matter how good his manners are.
If your dog falls in love with a guest's leg, have the decency to leave them alone for a few minutes.
Do not allow the dog to eat at the table . . . no matter how good his manners are.
If your dog falls in love with a guest's leg, have the decency to leave them alone for a few minutes.
Headlines
For Sale or Trade : 2001 Impala, good gas mileage, nice car, will take a pallet of Coors Lite and wireless headphones
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