Saturday, November 29, 2008
Popular Dogs By Location
The top 10 dogs are listed by city. Click here to explore the results. Caution, there are over two dozen cities listed so take your time and enjoy the pictures too.
Why? (Part 3)
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Why do steam irons have a permanent press setting?
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
Deep Thought
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
I Do My Part For Thanksgiving...Happy Turkey Day To All!
'Cause I’m forced to eat and eat some more.
If I don’t eat it up right down to dessert,
I fear the cook’s feelings will be hurt,
So I do my part, even though I suffer;
To help out the others, I’m a belly stuffer.
Why? (Part 2)
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?
Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why isn't there mouse flavored cat food?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?
Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
Lost In Space
Remember that tool bag that was dropped by the astronauts? You can now track it's space journey by clicking here (link may be busy). Or find out when it will visit the sky above you by clicking here. Enjoy.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Why?
What's another word for synonym?
So what's the speed of dark?
If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
Friday, November 21, 2008
Fun Fact
Pop Quiz : What Does The "WD" in WD-40 Stand For?
Water Displacement
WD-40 was originally developed in 1953 by the Rocket Chemical Company, as a rust preventative solvent. Their first customer, Convair, used it to protect the outer skin of the Atlas Missile, America's first nuclear intercontinental ballistic missile. The formula was the 40th attempt at developing the suitable water displacement product, thus the name "WD-40". The original ICBM-protecting formula remains unchanged to this day, even if its uses are somewhat more mundane.
New Rule From Bill Maher
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Free Dr Pepper (see, it pays to read my blog)
The soft-drink maker said in March that it would give a free soda to everyone in America if the album dropped in 2008. "Chinese Democracy," infamously delayed since recording began in 1994, goes on sale Sunday.
Beginning Sunday at 12:01 a.m., coupons for a free 20-ounce soda will be available for 24 hours on Dr Pepper's Web site.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Obama’s Use of Complete Sentences Stirs Controversy
Millions of Americans who watched Mr. Obama's appearance on CBS' "Sixty Minutes" on Sunday witnessed the president-elect's unorthodox verbal tick, which had Mr. Obama employing grammatically correct sentences virtually every time he opened his mouth.
But Mr. Obama's decision to use complete sentences in his public pronouncements carries with it certain risks, since after the last eight years many Americans may find his odd speaking style jarring.
According to presidential historian Davis Logsdon of the University of Minnesota, some Americans might find it "alienating" to have a President who speaks English as if it were his first language.
"Every time Obama opens his mouth, his subjects and verbs are in agreement," says Mr. Logsdon. "If he keeps it up, he is running the risk of sounding like an elitist."
The historian said that if Mr. Obama insists on using complete sentences in his speeches, the public may find itself saying, "Okay, subject, predicate, subject predicate - we get it, stop showing off."
The President-elect's stubborn insistence on using complete sentences has already attracted a rebuke from one of his harshest critics, Gov. Sarah Palin of Alaska.
"Talking with complete sentences there and also too talking in a way that ordinary Americans like Joe the Plumber and Tito the Builder can't really do there, I think needing to do that isn't tapping into what Americans are needing also," she said.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Letter From Dog to God
FROM: THE DOG
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the " Chrysler Beagle"?
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? ...If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog-
1 . I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table .
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I please have my testicles back?
Quote
---Richard Nixon
Monday, November 17, 2008
Police Log
Redneck Pick-Up Lines
cuz you just blew me away.
2) Are yer parents retarded?
cuz ya sure are special.
3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea .
I can't hold it in.
4) Do you have a library card?
cuz I'd like to sign you out
5) Is there a mirror in yer pants?
cuz I can see myself in em.
6) If you was a tree and I was a Squirrel,
I'd store my nuts in yer hole.
7) You might not be the best lookin girl here,
but beauty's only a light switch away.
8) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone,
but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.
9) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.
10) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin,
we kin sleep til afternoon..
11) Yer face reminds me of a wrench,
every time I think of it, my nuts tighten up
Sunday, November 16, 2008
America's Most Unhealthy City
Life Explained
'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'
The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'
So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said:
'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'
The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?'
And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the cow and said:
'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's fami ly. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.'
The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day, God created man and said:
'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.'
But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten
the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'
'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'
So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Bill Maher New Rule
Monday, November 10, 2008
Brigham Young Said:
50 Fun Facts About President Obama
• He collects Spider-Man and Conan the Barbarian comics
• He was known as "O'Bomber" at high school for his skill at basketball
• His name means "one who is blessed" in Swahili
• His favourite meal is wife Michelle's shrimp linguini
• He won a Grammy in 2006 for the audio version of his memoir, Dreams From My Father
• He is left-handed – the sixth post-war president to be left-handed
• He has read every Harry Potter book
• He owns a set of red boxing gloves autographed by Muhammad Ali
• He worked in a Baskin-Robbins ice cream shop as a teenager and now can't stand ice cream
• His favourite snacks are chocolate-peanut protein bars
• He ate dog meat, snake meat, and roasted grasshopper while living in Indonesia
• He can speak Spanish
• While on the campaign trail he refused to watch CNN and had sports channels on instead
• His favourite drink is black forest berry iced tea
• He promised Michelle he would quit smoking before running for president – he didn't
• He kept a pet ape called Tata while in Indonesia
• He can bench press an impressive 200lbs
• He was known as Barry until university when he asked to be addressed by his full name
• His favourite book is Moby-Dick by Herman Melville
• He visited Wokingham, Berks, in 1996 for the stag party of his half-sister's fiancé, but left when a stripper arrived
• His desk in his Senate office once belonged to Robert Kennedy
• He and Michelle made $4.2 million (£2.7 million) last year, with much coming from sales of his books
• His favourite films are Casablanca and One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
• He carries a tiny Madonna and child statue and a bracelet belonging to a soldier in Iraq for good luck
• He applied to appear in a black pin-up calendar while at Harvard but was rejected by the all-female committee.
• His favourite music includes Miles Davis, Bob Dylan, Bach and The Fugees
• He took Michelle to see the Spike Lee film Do The Right Thing on their first date
• He enjoys playing Scrabble and poker
• He doesn't drink coffee and rarely drinks alcohol
• He would have liked to have been an architect if he were not a politician
• As a teenager he took drugs including marijuana and cocaine
• His daughters' ambitions are to go to Yale before becoming an actress (Malia, 10) and to sing and dance (Sasha, 7)
• He hates the youth trend for trousers which sag beneath the backside
• He repaid his student loan only four years ago after signing his book deal
• His house in Chicago has four fire places
• Daughter Malia's godmother is Jesse Jackson's daughter Santita
• He says his worst habit is constantly checking his BlackBerry
• He uses an Apple Mac laptop
• He drives a Ford Escape Hybrid, having ditched his gas-guzzling Chrysler 300
• He wears $1,500 (£952) Hart Schaffner Marx suits
• He owns four identical pairs of black size 11 shoes
• He has his hair cut once a week by his Chicago barber, Zariff, who charges $21 (£13)
• His favourite fictional television programmes are Mash and The Wire
• He was given the code name "Renegade" by his Secret Service handlers
• He was nicknamed "Bear" by his late grandmother
• He plans to install a basketball court in the White House grounds
• His favourite artist is Pablo Picasso
• His speciality as a cook is chilli
• He has said many of his friends in Indonesia were "street urchins"
• He keeps on his desk a carving of a wooden hand holding an egg, a Kenyan symbol of the fragility of life
• His late father was a senior economist for the Kenyan government
Seperation Of Corporation And State
Every so often an idea comes along that rings with such clarity and purpose that it ignites the imaginations of millions of people. Click the picture to learn more.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Common Sense Solutions To Everyday Problems
Never pass up an opportunity to pee.
If You Woke up Breathing, Congratulations! You have another chance!
Friday, November 7, 2008
New Revelations About Sarah Palin (Dave Letterman's Top Ten)
9. At her wedding instead of "I do", said, "You betcha!"
8. She and Governor Schwazenegger once exchanged swimsuit competition posing tips.
7. Prepared for campaign by watching "Legally Blonde 2"
6. Thinks "NAFTA" stand for "need Another Fifty Thousand For Accessories"
5. Begins every day by reading a passage from the hilarious Late Show Fun Facts book available everywhere.
4. She's a person of interest in five unsolved snow machine hit-and-runs
3. Abused position as governor to get free appetizers at Anchorage Applebee's
2. Already has a new job as briefcase babe number 12 on "Deal or No Deal"
1. Her secret service code name was "Huh?"
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Police Log
Pizza Recipe
Some Strange Animal Facts
A female cod can lay up to 9 million eggs.
Snakes can see through their eyelids.
Elephants spend 23 hours a day eating.
Vultures sometimes eat so much they can't take off again.
The Amazon 'Jesus Christ lizard' can run across water.
The biggest Antarctic inland animal is a wingless fly measuring about 60 mm long.
Fleas can jump up to 30 cm, twenty times their own body length.
Bluebottle flies can smell meat from distances 7 km away.
Many birds migrate, but the Arctic tern travels furthest. It flies from the Arctic to the Antarctic, and back again, a trip of 32,000 kilometers.
Some animals can regrow parts of their bodies if damaged. Starfish can grow new 'arms.' Slow-worms can regrow broken-off tails. Lizards can grow new tails.
One golden poison-dart frog could kill up to 1500 people with its poison.
The giant squid has the largest eyes of any animal. They can be 39 cm across, which is 16 times wider than a human eye.
The peregrine falcon can spot its prey from more than 8 km away.
The sleepiest mammals are armadillos, sloths and opossums. They spend 80 per cent of their lives sleeping or dozing.
A mayfly only lives one day, but a tortoise can expect to live 100 years.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Monday, November 3, 2008
Sunday, November 2, 2008
One More From Honest Abe
News Report
Story : A Camden man hit a moose just up the road from Bullwinkle's Restaurant.